Sunday, January 13, 2008
I'm Back.. Am I?
Hi to all... finally got my internet back on... hmmmm should I be feeling happy or something?
The answer is not really... Today's one of those days.. I dunno why.. But its just the kind of day where everything just seems to fade.. everywhere you look. No matter how hard you try to smile you could feel a block, and the smile of the heart stops in midstep.. Like gravity doubling over and multiplying.. Where you move your hand through air and yet you feel a weird sense of weight. Its terrible.. I'm scared of this. I know it, it reduces me to a mess, with tomorow promising more of the same. I'm hoping that typing this out would ease it, however slightly.. but what I need is a large field, a starry sky. A place to scream where no one could hear. Is there such a place? Until I find it.. guess i'll just swallow it. Like I always do.. Just swallow it as i scream silently in the utter darkness of the room I loathe so much. Where am I now? Nowhere... not since then have I been..
EDIT: Hmmmm STOP! I'm smiling now.. Oh my I forgot something.. How could I? No.. I've moved.. and I never knew.. haha.. So it takes a song to remind me.. ^^
swallowed at 4:27 AM